Mercy: How to break out of an abusive relationship

chain is broken


My heart aches for you. Here are some thoughts:


  • Breaking out of an abusive relationship may be even harder than being in one. What you have gone through so far is unbearable. Getting out of it will even be more difficult.


  • If you are really seeing that your relationship is abusive and toxic, if you have tried your ways and it hasn’t worked, the only way is to make the break.


  • Build the courage. It will take all you’ve got.


  • Prepare to end your relationship.


  • Acknowledge that you are being controlled and manipulated. Denial is your enemy.


  • Notice: how many aspects of your life are being controlled. Are you controlled by the emotions of your abuser? Have you lost yourself?


  • Think about the reasons why you need to leave. Look carefully at what you will gain: the capacity to enjoy life. Remember, you have a right to live.


  • Plan your exit. Know that no matter how much you will seem to lose, you will gain yourself.


  • Even if you lose your house you can find a way. Nothing is worth the loss of your true self. Your authentic self.
Leave a comment

1 Comment

  1. Anonymous

     /  August 6, 2014

    Excellent post! It’s very overwhelming when your emotions are controlled by the abuser. Being with an abuser who has you so embedded with fear, you feel like you are cemented by their unpredictable behaviors. My question is how do you overcome those emotions that the abuser planted in you. I feel like a flower that is being strangled by the weeds that grow around it. Where it’s unable to grow and be nurtured. To overcome those fears feels like jumping into an ocean and not knowing how to swim. I don’t know how to overcome what he as embedded into me for years.


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