Conversation with my Self: “There are no victims, only willing participants.”

Self:  No, this cannot be.  How dare you say that? You are blaming me, the victim!  It’s not my fault!

Emerging Angel Frame Border Background.

Higher Self:  You agree to be disrespected?  You feel you deserve the treatment you are getting?

Self:  I don’t like how I am treated but I have no choice.  I have hope it will change.

Higher Self:  You allow yourself to be subjugated.  You shackle yourself by your choices.  What is your truth now?

Self:  I have to make the best of it and keep trying.

Higher Self:  You are free to choose.  Why do you resist what you know deep inside is true?

Self:  What do I resist?

Higher Self:  Do you feel pain or tightness anywhere in your body?

Self:  Yes, in my stomach.

Higher Self:  Imagine being in your stomach and look around.  What do you see?

Self:  I see a clenched fist.  It is so tight the knuckles are white.

Higher Self:  So, anger clenches in your stomach?

Self:  Yes, I am angry.  It’s not fair.

Higher Self:  Yet, you make the choice to accept ill-treatment, attacks, manipulations, accusations.  You go along with all of this.

Self:  I am afraid.

Higher Self:  What are you afraid of?

Self:  I am afraid of being alone.  I am afraid of the unknown.  I am afraid of loosing hope.  I am afraid of being unloved.  I am afraid of loosing him/her even though it is wrong.  I am afraid I put in all of this effort, pain and suffering for nothing.  I am afraid others will see that I have failed.

Higher Self:  Yes, you know all of these things.  You are wise inside.What would you create if you remembered you create your own life?

Self:  Love, of course.  And respect.

Higher Self:  My dear Self, you are free to make this new choice in each moment.  When you are available for Love, for Respect you no longer feed the illusion that you are unworthy. I love and honor you.

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4 Comments

  1. After reading the above post a few times and almost vicariously was able to better connect with your response to a previous question. It also gave me the opportunity to place myself in my client’s position and connect with what they may be feeling. I felt the anger / pain / fear of my clients when responsibility of their situation is placed on them; funny enough I also recognized a little bit of resistance on my part in the role of therapist to blame my client, not out of lack of understanding that that they hold responsibility but out of fear of hurting their feelings, out of fear of telling them as the abusers tend to do that it’s their fault. However, I know that in this case taking responsibility is empowering not victimizing. The part that I really felt was beautiful and that gave me that aha moment was when you went through helping connect with bodily sensations; we won’t trust our thoughts and even our feelings, but I feel like it’s harder to deny what our body tells us if we actually listen; if we are taught how to listen. Both your response and this post made me think of something I had many times realized would occur…that is that as a therapist I was always planting seeds of consciousness and change. Sometimes these seeds would appear to have no growth or movement only to later (sometimes months later and usually and perhaps not surprisingly after not seeing clients for weeks) a whole flower has blossomed. There have been times that I thought I have done little during a session only to find out months later that as a result of the seeds I planted the client gradually came to awareness and was able to make changes. So I think you’re completely accurate in “a gentle, slow movement toward consciousness can emerge in the “victim.”

    Reply
  2. Lilia Urias

     /  February 18, 2014

    Hi, I didn’t get to reply to this before you got to post it but I made my comments on your blog.  I also wanted to share the good news that I started my blog – it’s journeytolilyhood.wordpress.com.  I am excited and actually really nervous to put myself out there.  Actually my heart has been racing since I announced my blogs launch and I’m irrationally having a panicky feelings; making me realize how uncomfortable I can still be with exposing self; but this is the process of facing fears. 

    I didn’t get a chance to write about my experience from the last reiki session dealing with ego but it was really interesting what i experienced and the understanding gained; so it’s important to me that I share it.  I hope to write it this week and I’ll email you it once done. 

    Also, I have been sharing your blog.  My coworker the one that is not tech savy was able to follow the link and she liked your writing a lot.  She stated that she was going to try your meditation technique; which i think would be really good for her.

    Thank you again.    

    Reply
    • Thank you and congratulations!! I will follow your blog with interest. You have so much to give and I am glad you overcame your hesitation to share your wisdom. I look forward to hearing about your Reiki experience!

      Reply

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