We are gold, not coal!

Abuse from the top down

“Every time we don’t stand down the primary abusers in our lives, we lose a little ground, we fade into the night, we die a little inside.  Rising above it may be a temporary balm, but at some point, we have to come back into our bodies and speak it.  As important as it is to reach a stage of genuine forgiveness where possible, it is even more important to assert boundaries with those who have violated ours.  It may well be why they came into our lives – to force us to recognize and claim our own value.”  Jeff Brown in Love it forward

Should we take it?

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“One thing I have learned with certainty is not to stand in connection with those who diminish me.  This is particularly difficult when family is involved, because we have a vested interest in perpetuating the family system for all kinds of reasons.

I don’t believe one should endure abuse no matter how attached they are to an idea of family.  There are many families waiting for us just outside our habitual awareness.  We are not responsible for those who diminish us.  We really have to get that.  We can be compassionate and we can certainly understand where their abusiveness comes from, but understanding the origins does not mean we have to endure it.  It’s not our cross to bear.”

Written by Jeff Brown in his book, Love it Forward.  It speaks to me.  How about you?

Cynthia

The Armored Man

 

“The armored man is afraid of his heart, he is afraid of the empowered feminine, he is afraid of surrendering his egoic shield to something deeper, truer, more heartfelt.  What he doesn’t realize is that we are inextricably linked, so linked that when he denigrates the feminine, he imprisons and denigrates his own consciousness.  There can be no victories at the expense of the Divine Mother.  None at all.  It is time for a new paradigm, one that honors the wisdom of the feminine, one that soulebrates her courageous willingness to remain receptive, relational and compassionate in the heart of this still mad world.  Armored men – bow before her.  Sing her praises, dance in her wisdom and her love.  She is the path home.”  Written by Jeff Brown in Love it Forward in 1962 – more relevant now than ever!

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Write yourself into your own life

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Imagine a world in which you really belong, a world where love and acceptance is your every day life.  Visualize beauty that surrounds you, and that is inside of you.  See yourself walking tall and graceful, at home within.  Breathe in the peace that you are.

If you remember that you are the playwright and the lead you will be victim no more. Write yourself into your own life. Imagine.

Turning Holiday Blues into Joy and Acceptance

Do you have objects that you bring out only at Christmas?  Do they hold bittersweet memories for you?  Are there people that you cherished Christmas with in the past that are now out of your life?

Christmas Past.JPGHere are some strategies for thriving (not just surviving):

  1. Take care of yourself!  Keep you as your number one priority.  Keep up (or add in) your exercise or stretching routine.
  2. Eat well – even better than usual!  Yes, give yourself permission to make an exception too.  Eating live, colorful and healthy food as a routine matter will allow for the deviation.
  3. Even if it’s five minutes, sit, stop the world and get off.  Take a brief time to remember who you are!  You are more than a list of things to do, presents to buy or food to prepare.  You are more than an exhausting party.  Breathe.
  4. Protect your sleeping routine carefully.  Even though you can allow an occasional late night, be sure to get those (usually 8) hours of uninterrupted sleep.  A dark and quiet room is important.  Try to cut out electronics at least an hour before bed.  The “blue light phenomenon” reduces quality of sleep.  Another thought: try to have an earlier dinner so your stomach is not digesting while you try to sleep.
  5. Ask for help.  Don’t try to do everything yourself.  Guests like to contribute when they come.
  6. Be realistic about who you can be around with and for how long. Set limits and boundaries.  You have a responsibility to create a festive time that feels right to you.
  7. Give yourself permission to say No!  That way, when you say yes, you mean it.
  8. If there is someone in your life who has passed on or, for whatever reason is not here this year, honor that person and the good you have had.  Light a candle, honor and release.
  9. If there is someone in your life who needs to be released, create a game plan.  You are the author of your life.  Write yourself in!
  10. Most important:  be here now.  The past is gone and the future is not here yet.  Enjoy the richness of the moment.  Savor with gratitude that which you do have now.
  11. Blessed be.

 

 

 

Are you suffering from Burnout?!

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High achievers: Listen up.  If you feel you can do it all, or you have to do it all, it will eventually catch up with you.  It is insidious in that it slowly reveals itself and you may hardly be aware of what is happening.  By the time it hits fully, you may not understand that this is your body’s response to years of bruising and unrelenting overwork. Some telltale signs that you are using up your reserves are:

  • Total physical and emotional exhaustion
  • Cynicism and detachment
  • Pessimism
  • Desire to escape
  • Isolation; Withdrawal from people
  • The overwhelming desire to fall asleep
  • Irritability
  • It can also be reflected in the inability to slow down
  • Insomnia with exhaustion
  • Spaciness; difficulty focusing
  • Memory impairment
  • Difficulty processing information
  • Inner feeling of emptiness
  • Loss of pleasure
  • Hopelessness
  • Lack of productivity

Prolonged anger, fear and anxiety can cause a myriad of health problems:

  • Digestive problems
  • Chronic inflammation
  • Chronic pain
  • Reduced immune function
  • Headaches, and so much more

A condition called adrenal exhaustion can result and here are two sources for information about this condition:

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2000/08/27/adrenals.aspx

and

http://www.endocrineweb.com/endocrinology/overview-adrenal-glands

These articles relate to burnout as a medical condition, and it is important to understand our bodies from that perspective.  We can also look at our bodies and ourselves from a basic wisdom perspective.

  • Do you get sufficient healthy sleep?
  • Do you eat foods throughout the day that provide good nutrition and life force?
  • Do you drink sufficient clean water?
  • Do you breathe fully and deeply throughout your day?

If you are able to address these four principles you will be well on your way to healing your burnout condition.  It may still take some time to regenerate but the time to begin is now.

If you find you are unable to stop, to get off the merry-go-round, then you may need a brainstorming session with friend or therapist in order to loosen long held assumptions that you don’t deserve self care, that you can’t take time to regenerate.  What in your belief system allows you to treat yourself like a machine?  Remember, even machines break down without regular care.  Computers crash when you don’t maintain them and shut them down regularly!

Other blogs will follow with more specific recommendations for self care.  You deserve it!

 

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Photo by Cynthia M Chase

How to release Energy Vampires

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First, we need to identify who is draining us.  It isn’t always easy since energy suckers don’t always have fangs.  You may “like” being around someone because you are basking in their charismatic “glory”, but note carefully how you feel after spending time with that person.  Narcissists love to use others to supply them with energy to fuel their “show.”  Drama surrounds them.  Your own denial allows them to work on you, use your energy as their own, leaving you collapsed in a heap.

Look around at the people in your life. When you are with someone do you feel energized and inspired by their presence?  Or do you feel drained, exhausted, or off balance?

Energy suckers take advantage of well-intentioned people who bring in positive energy, using your energy as theirs without re-charging you.  A healthy relationship circles energy both ways, giving and taking in a loving circle.

If you understand that the energy exchange is not balanced in a relationship, here is a strategy to consider:  In your mind’s eye, create a filter that will keep out the negative energies, including energy snakes that would sneak in, inject venom, and suck out your life force.  The filter acts as a prevention, but at the same time lets in the loving, caring energies that actually feed your spirit.  Physically, it may not look that different from the outside, but the internal energy shift will be palpable and highly effective.

Consciously draw to you people who are vibrating at a higher level, those who shine bright in caring and support.  Send out your own light to those with whom you resonate in a positive way.

When the energy vampire realizes what you are doing they may “up the ante” and be creative in mind-tripping, guilt-inducement or bullying.  As you get stronger, you will not be available to these tactics, and you will see through then.  This disempowers these low-vibrational tactics and eventually this will cause a disengagement.  Hold onto your own energy.  Don’t give it away.  Honor the gift of your authenticity and loving ways.  Share those gifts wisely.  Learn to receive!

Let us know how you are doing?  What has it been like for you?  Share your stories so we can all learn from you!

Love letter to myself

 

 

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I am me.  I am important.  My feelings and needs matter.  I am the author of my life.  Peace comes from within me.  I choose the conditions of my life.  I choose the people in my life.

I can say yes.  I can say no.  I choose to see the truth.  I am loving, patient and caring.  I have an open heart.  I accept love.

I choose life not fear.  I choose love and loyalty. I require love, loyalty and commitment in my relationships. I require partnership and trust.

I release any denial of what is.  I honor what is.  If my reasonable expectations are not ultimately met, I release that which no longer serves me.

I sit in peace knowing that if conditions are unacceptable to me, at that time, I will let go.

For now, I live and love, for me.

Chapter 8; Sparkles and Smurfs by Carla

I just had a lovely Reiki experience with Cynthia and friends. She was hosting a Reiki Share and the room was filled with 3 Reiki practitioners and one in training. I was to be the receiver of their practice, and I was nervous.

 

Before I climbed on the table for the Reiki session, I noticed the heart hanging on the bathroom door in the room. As I laid face down I was thinking about love. There was a lot of love in the room with these 4 peaceful women.

 

Once I was settled, Cynthia directed the ladies to different points on my back and feet they were to touch. One by one, I felt them lay their hands on me and I immediately began to feel sensations. When the first set of hands were placed on my lower back I started to feel intense heat where she touched. She kept one hand still and slowly rubbed the other hand up my spine. The heat was replaced by deeply rooted emotions welling up within me. By the time the second set of hands were placed close to the first set, I was softly and quietly crying into the mat. I cried, “Is this what it feels like to have a mother’s love?”

 

I was welling up with a strong feeling of peace and love. I never experienced female energy like this. I never grew up with hugs and kisses from a mom. My need for Mother must have been buried, because the feelings came from a very deep and locked up area within me.

 

Once everyone was settled, Cynthia sat at my head and placed her hands on either side of it, slowly beginning the session. She asked me if I saw anything. For awhile I was still dealing with the welled up emotion, then I saw the heart. It was dark purple and similar to the heart on the Reiki door.

 

Everything around the heart was dark and matted, like a chalkboard in a dark room with no lights. It felt heavy and muddy. It felt like I was sitting in front of this dark door in mud. I felt weighted down and stuck. All I could focus on was the darkness around me and the purple heart hanging on the door.

 

Suddenly, I could see sparkles. Bright yellow, white and gold sparkles. They seemed to be peaking around the door. I wanted to push the door open, but I couldn’t. I felt stuck in the mud. The feeling made me sad. I wanted to move, to go where I wanted and the idea of not being able to was unbearable.

 

Cynthia kept asking me questions about what I saw. That helped me focus on the sparkles and what could possibly be behind the door. Finally, I felt myself moving. I was willing myself to move towards the door. I felt the darkness trying to hold me down, but I kept willing myself towards the door. Finally I could feel the door in my hands. I could see my hands on the door and I wrapped my fingers around the door and pulled myself around from the darkness into the light. It was a beautiful feeling and a beautiful sight.

 

The gold, yellow and white sparkles grew in size and intensity. I felt a welling up inside of me, as though the sparkles were filling me up with their energy. I heard a sound of happiness and celebration. When Cynthia asked me what it was that I heard, I could only describe it as the sound of Smurfs skipping along in the forest, hand in hand. It was carefree, innocent, youthful and filled with love. I felt joyshutterstock_189386465 between grains of sand.jpg.The celebration, the love. What an incredible feeling.